Identity Crisis

With the whole "new year, new me" cliche flying around, I'd been debating whether it was time that I refreshed my freelance identity as I felt it wasn't really reflecting who I am as an artist. After a spell of indecision, I started sketching out a few thoughts running through my head and wrote down a few things that I felt summed up where I was in terms of my current skill level.

Don't get me wrong, I loved how my original logotype looked but it started to look a little dated to me. I created the original way back in 2015, not long before I moved to Cardiff, and a part of me didn't want to rework it because I felt like it had become a part of who I am.
Like I say, the main reason for updating it was to ensure that I was representing my current skill level. If you look at the the two of them side by side you can clearly see a HUGE difference in both style and skill. I've got a bit of a thing for Spencerian-style scripts, and that's been reflected a lot in my most recent works (of which there haven't been a lot of, sorry...) because I love the contrast of sharp points and silky curves, so this was obviously something that I felt needed to be included...

Left: Original logotype from 2015 | Right: Reworked lettering for 2017

Not that I'm blowing my own trumpet here, but there's a dramatic improvement in the way I shape my letterforms, but also more confidence in their form. I think Spencerian is probably my strongest lettering style because it's one I love so dearly. I've also tried to incorporate a more rhythmic visceral appeal, something I've always admired in modern calligraphy, with the slightly varied heights and undulating descenders.
One thing I especially like about the new-look lettering is that there's less dependence on superfluous flourishes. I want the focus to be on the letterforms and the composition, not the things that surround them. Cutting down the flourishes to just the one of the end of "Stee" works to balance out the overall shape of the logo, and the simple underscore adds a little depth because there aren't any descenders in "Chromatic".

This confidence and rhythm is something I'm really aiming to embody in my work this year.

For the first time in too long, I'm going to be back at Printhaus this weekend, so I'm going to have a play with some printed editions of the new logo and create a colourful version for use somewhere, maybe Twitter.

A House for Essex

Situated in the small village of Wrabness, A House for Essex was designed to evoke a tradition of wayside and pilgrimage chapels in the landscape. It is a singular building, appearing as a small, beautifully crafted object amongst the fields. Think of it less of a house, more of an ornate, terracotta-covered temple. It's a collaboration between Grayson Perry (one of my favourite artists growing up) and Charles Holland of FAT Architecture exploring the special character and unique qualities of Essex.

So while I've got some free time and I'm while I'm in London (a hell of a lot closer to Essex than I usually am), the opportunity to visit had finally arrived...

I have to say, of all the art I've seen in my life (which I'll be honest, isn't actually a whole lot), this is truely one of the most spectacular; not just in its form, but in it's narrative.
The whole concept of the house is based around the mythical Julie May Cope, a figure Perry created as an archetype of the "Essex Everywoman"; Julie is a figure that encompasses the kind of trials, tribulations, celebrations and mistakes of an average life. A representative of the emotions and experiences of the women of Essex as a way of overcoming the generic 'fake-tan' stereotype associated with them.

A stunning example of art meets architecture

The house is covered with terracotta tiles based around elements of Julie's life, with the largest of the tiles resembling her as a mystical goddess.

Part of the narrative is that the house itself was commissioned by Julie's soulmate Rob in her memory after she was killed in a freak accident with by a delivery driver in Colchester. The instrument of her demise, the delivery scooter, hangs in the main hall of the house as a chandelier.

After months, Julie feels this is her due. Good talk and wine, longer walks, slower art.
A senior social worker and her man enjoying complex friends and broadsheet lives.
Often, she had to remind herself that this is not ecstasy, a fleeting peek, but happiness.
A wide fertile valley in its familiarity, golden.
Julie said she had never known such bliss.
Rob had kissed her and said that if she died he would then grieve as deep as Shah Jahan and build a Taj Mahal upon the Stour.

The above extract is from the three thousand word poem that Perry wrote in conjunction with the building. It's such a shame, I'd love to read the whole thing but, as far as I can tell, it isn't on the interweb. It feels a bit strange referring to this as a building, because is is so much more than that. This is about a woman that doesn't exist, yet there is something so relatable about her, like the lyrics of an Adele track.

Sadly, I couldn't get inside as you have to have your name registered to take part in a ballot in order to get a slot to stay in the house. Plus it appeared to be closed for the winter season... 

If you're reading this and are interested in finding out more about this gorgeous place, Channel 4 made a short documentary with Grayson Perry about the process behind its design and construction. It's on All4 still, just search for "Grayson Perry's Dream House". It's an excellent piece of television and I strongly advise watching!

*apologies if there are any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors, I'm trying to write this on a crammed train from Colchester to Liverpool Street.

Quarter of a Century

So I'm 25 years old now. It feels pretty much the same as 24, which felt much the same as 23, but now thinking about things like "is this really the right path for me?" and "what are my next steps supposed to be?" are far more serious issues than they were a few years ago.
This is my first birthday as an adult where I haven't really had anyone close to celebrate it with, so even though I've been at work all day and surrounded by people I enjoy the company of, it just wasn't the same. I have this overwhelming sense of melancholy and I can't quite put my finger on exactly what's causing it.

I've been in Cardiff for just over eighteen months now, and since the split with my significant other I've been trying to use my time to meet new people, build friendship circles and move forward with my freelance work. To some degree, it's been fairly fruitful in the sense I've met lovely bunch of people and have started to form some great friendships. It has however been difficult to strike up the balance between social life and work life, and recently it's all becoming a little bit too much. I can feel myself beginning to burn out.

I moved down for one reason and that reason is no longer valid, but I've been having a real good go of making something of myself in Cardiff. I mean, I'm miles away from everything that I've known and while I do miss my friends and family, I don't think my life is in Birmingham anymore. Honestly though, unlike my ex-boyfriend who is surely going to spend the rest of his life in this city, I on the other hand (as much as I love the 'Diff) can't see myself being here for much longer than another year.
I've been in my current job for just over a year now, which is something else I wasn't expecting to happen. While I love everyone there, I did think that I'd be in a position to move on by now, lord knows I could do with something more challenging and creative, and a little extra in the bank each month would be a welcome bonus.

I could really do with a holiday too, even it it just means a week away from the day job for some time to recuperate...

Saturday 3rd September

Let's look at the positives though; I've made some new friends, got closer to existing ones, got to know the people of Printhaus better and feel more integrated in the community, got a few wedding commissions, travelled to new places, pulled in a club and various other exciting things I never thought I'd do.
I'd like to affectionately refer to this period as my Dead Cat Bounce (a temporary recovery after a substantial fall, it's actually a financial term. It's a real thing honestly, Google it) but less of a temporary thing, more the start of an uphill climb towards something better.

When I started writing this post on my birthday (September 1st)  I was quite down and a little uncomfortable in myself, but today as I write I feel much better. There are certain factors that keep me going, like Printhaus, that give me focus and a drive to succeed. I've got commissions to be working on, Christmas cards to be designing! I can't let these feelings bog me down forever or I'd get nothing done! I have a plan for the next 10 years and I'm sure as hell going to see it through. Like I said at the beginning though, I'm not sure what my next steps are, but every situation and opportunity is like a stepping stone; some have a level of uncertainty and will wobble when you stand on them, while others will be small but solid, sturdy. Some will even be large enough for me to stop and see where I'm going and where I've come from.

I didn't want this blog to turn into a space where I vent. I wanted it to be a place where I talk about work and the things that influence it, but I think this actually is somewhat relevant. Yes, there are tangents but it's all part natural flow of things, like any good conversation.

The next post will hopefully be about the new stuff that I'm working on, but for now at least I'm being more proactive with the blog like I said I would back in the new year. 

Simple Things

Yesterday afternoon I got a very exciting package in the post from the lovely people at G.F. Smith and it was probably the best presented package I've had since I got a Seb Lester print for Christmas! It may only have been a handful of paper samples, but I'm a little nerdy (unashamedly so) when it comes to this kind of thing! Most of the colours I ordered are just as stunning as I'd hoped and while some are slightly paler than I thought, it means I can now see more clearly what I'm dealing with.
I'm a firm believer in seeing and feeling any paper stock you're considering using before you use it, especially if you're buying paper online. The kind of stock you use has the potential to make or break a piece of work. For a while now I've been in love with the collections that G.F. Smith produce, from the gorgeous and rich tones of Colorplan to the elegantly patterned Marlmarque.

So, because I've got a few little projects on the go (mostly my Christmas card designs, and some business cards too) I wanted to start thinking about the kinds of colours and paper weights I wanted to work with. Some of the projects I'm working on I pretty much knew what weight I wanted to work with, the Amethyst purple paper for example is a lovely 350gsm so it'll be perfect for one of my business card jobs. I also got a few sheets of the Citrine yellow (my personal favourite) in 275gsm and 350gsm for when I rework my own business cards.

While I can now feel the weight of the paper, it also means I can now work more confidently on matching ink colours to the real-world colours of the stock. For me this is probably the most important part, after all I need to live up to the "chromatic" name!
For some of these papers, I've already worked out which coloured inks I want to use, for example the Amethyst is going to have metallic gold lettering with white detailing, while the Forest and Vermillion papers (which I've decided will definitely be used for my Christmas cards) will be paired with metallic silver and white.

Left to right, top to bottom: Scarlet, Amethyst, Marlmarque Marble White and Vermillion.

Left to right, top to bottom: Citrine, Emerald, Cool Grey and Forest

I've still got a lot of decisions to make, and I've still yet to draw up my thoughts for the lettering! At least I'm making a start on it though. I've also enquired about taking part in local craft markets and print fairs in order to sell some of my work, PrintHaus have also hinted at the potential to sell through one of their biannual Snapped Up markets in December!

Everything is coming up Milhouse!

Wedding Celebrations

And so, after weeks of sketching and stressing (and a little bit of avoidance on my part...) the big day is here and my contribution is finally finished! 

I should probably start from the beginning...
Back in May, my dear friend Emily asked me to create a board that would welcome guests to her wedding reception. I had originally planned to create a print for her and her fiancé Calum based around how the early years of their relationship by pulling in some Shakespeare references, but being asked to create their welcome board was an incredibly special thing, so there was no way I could refuse!

The most difficult part for me was working out the composition of the whole piece and the order of their names. How do I decide who goes first? Is there a rule with this sort of thing that I should know about!? I ended up choosing to arrange them alphabetically to avoid choosing sides. Quite glad I did actually, the final composition looks good.
I looked at the recently revisited Peace and Light print I did a few months ago for ways in which I could place the two names. I was also torn between the word "and" or incorporating an ornate ampersand within the flourishes, but after trying several variations with a lovely looking ampersand I decided to ditch it because there was enough space between Calum and Emily for a small "and" to be placed without being too distracting.

 Left to right, top to bottom:  initial letterforms drawn out, Spencerian weight variation added, floral decor on test print and the final print with gold detailing. 

In the wild at the Wroxeter Hotel

I have this habit of over complicating stuff, and I didn't really want to work too much into this design and "spoil" it. My standards are high as they are, but this print will be my first with such a large viewing audience. I didn't want it to be really busy. I've striped it all down to just the basics; a short welcome message, the happy couples names and the date of the union.

For the final, I chose to work with some of the colours on the wedding invite as I wasn't given a colour scheme to work to (for those of you that follow my Instagram feed, I've been posting photos of different colour schemes I've tested). The photograph above shows a small glimpse of one scheme I decided on. There was another that involved much cooler colours, but I wasn't keen on how off my registration was with the gold detailing, and I couldn't give Emily something I was happy with!

Getting blue, and getting back up again.

I haven't blogged or lettered in quite some time now. Why? A lot has happened over the last few months: money worries, dealing with mental illness and a failed relationship. I don't talk a lot (or at all) about my mental state and I should. The cobwebs have gotten thick and a window needs to be opened, I'm hoping talking about it more publicly will help.

For a long time now I've suffered with depression and anxiety, I never really did anything about it, even with those closest to me urging for me to seek help. My anxiety has prevented me from going to PrintHaus for months because I feel inadequate around the other artists that are there, while my depression has stopped me from focusing on the creation of new works and the finishing of current ones.
I didn't ask for help because I thought I could deal with it and I couldn't. In the end, that was partly how my relationship failed. He tried to help me but I pushed it back out of pride and stubbornness. I wish I had accepted his help sooner, but hindsight is a wonderful and sometimes painful thing. For now, I have to grieve. It takes time, I have to get out and play. Do what makes my heart happy again! I am thankful for what I have experienced and now I can base all my future opportunities on the mistakes that I have made and move forward with them, as I urge anybody reading this to do.

As with all art, mistakes are often made to beautiful works (sometimes these mistakes make them better) but ultimately we artists and designers are to learn from these errors we make and strive to correct the original or to create better, more wonderful things.

Over the next few weeks I intend to make more use of the facilities I have available at PrintHaus and to use my experiences to move forward with my lettering work because hey, my portfolio won't fill itself! 

I'll leave you all with this passage by Jelaluddin Rumi:

"This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor...

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond."

Crappy days are part of the journey, part of the process, but suffering is a choice. It's time for me to get back on the path.