I haven't blogged or lettered in quite some time now. Why? A lot has happened over the last few months: money worries, dealing with mental illness and a failed relationship. I don't talk a lot (or at all) about my mental state and I should. The cobwebs have gotten thick and a window needs to be opened, I'm hoping talking about it more publicly will help.

For a long time now I've suffered with depression and anxiety, I never really did anything about it, even with those closest to me urging for me to seek help. My anxiety has prevented me from going to PrintHaus for months because I feel inadequate around the other artists that are there, while my depression has stopped me from focusing on the creation of new works and the finishing of current ones.
I didn't ask for help because I thought I could deal with it and I couldn't. In the end, that was partly how my relationship failed. He tried to help me but I pushed it back out of pride and stubbornness. I wish I had accepted his help sooner, but hindsight is a wonderful and sometimes painful thing. For now, I have to grieve. It takes time, I have to get out and play. Do what makes my heart happy again! I am thankful for what I have experienced and now I can base all my future opportunities on the mistakes that I have made and move forward with them, as I urge anybody reading this to do.

As with all art, mistakes are often made to beautiful works (sometimes these mistakes make them better) but ultimately we artists and designers are to learn from these errors we make and strive to correct the original or to create better, more wonderful things.

Over the next few weeks I intend to make more use of the facilities I have available at PrintHaus and to use my experiences to move forward with my lettering work because hey, my portfolio won't fill itself!

I'll leave you all with this passage by Jelaluddin Rumi:

"This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor...

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond."

Crappy days are part of the journey, part of the process, but suffering is a choice. It's time for me to get back on the path.